{"id":85050,"date":"2019-09-17T20:44:04","date_gmt":"2019-09-17T16:44:04","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T20:00:00","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/?p=85050","title":{"rendered":"\u201cSanki, m\u0259nim \u00e7iynim\u0259 bir missiya qoyulub, s\u0259n ham\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259fn etm\u0259lis\u0259n\u201d<\/b><\/font>"},"content":{"rendered":"

Zamir\u0259 xan\u0131m Dada\u015fova: “\u0130tki dey\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131q yad\u0131ma dü\u015für”<\/strong><\/p>\n

“M\u0259n gücsüz\u0259m, sad\u0259c\u0259 k\u0259nardan m\u0259ni güclü görürl\u0259r. \u018fslind\u0259 m\u0259n güclü deyil\u0259m, m\u0259n m\u0259cburam güclü olma\u011fa. H\u0259yat m\u0259ni m\u0259cbur edir ki, güclü olum. Y\u0259ni, m\u0259nim ba\u015fqa ç\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolum, ba\u015fqa bir variant\u0131m var?”
\n“Üç nöqt\u0259” redaksiyas\u0131na ür\u0259yini bu d\u0259f\u0259 h\u0259r k\u0259s\u0259 “Ür\u0259yini m\u0259n\u0259 aç” dey\u0259n apar\u0131c\u0131 Zamir\u0259 xan\u0131m Dada\u015fova açd\u0131.<\/p>\n

-\u0130tirm\u0259k hissi, bunu Zamir\u0259 xan\u0131m nec\u0259 ifad\u0259 ed\u0259 bil\u0259r?<\/strong>
\n– \u018fslind\u0259 m\u0259nim üçün gözl\u0259nilm\u0259z bir sual oldu. \u0130tirm\u0259k, ac\u0131, k\u0259d\u0259r… \u0130tki n\u0259dir? M\u0259nim üçün qarda\u015fd\u0131r, anad\u0131r, bac\u0131d\u0131r, do\u011fmalar\u0131nd\u0131r ki, onlar yan\u0131nda deyil. Kims\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ssüf edir ki, m\u0259n mal\u0131m\u0131, mülkümü itirdim, amma m\u0259nim üçün itki insanla ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. \u0130tki dey\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131q yad\u0131ma dü\u015für. Bu el\u0259 bir hissdir ki, t\u0259k-t\u0259nha özün-özünl\u0259 qal\u0131rsan, gec\u0259l\u0259ri sevmirs\u0259n. B\u0259z\u0259n deyirl\u0259r ki, övladlar\u0131n-iki o\u011flun, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n var, onlara bax, sevin. Onlar\u0131 sevir\u0259m, amma m\u0259ni onlar tam \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 xo\u015fb\u0259xt el\u0259mir. Sanki, n\u0259s\u0259 çatm\u0131r v\u0259 m\u0259n o bo\u015flu\u011fu doldurmaq üçün n\u0259s\u0259 axtar\u0131ram. H\u0259rd\u0259n deyir\u0259m ki, ka\u015f anam olayd\u0131, qarda\u015f\u0131m olayd\u0131…\u0130tki, bax, budur, qorxu. O qorxu ki, üzr ist\u0259yir\u0259m, 7 ayl\u0131q hamil\u0259 oldu\u011fum zaman 6 n\u0259f\u0259r ail\u0259 üzvümü itirm\u0259kl\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131 v\u0259 bu gün bel\u0259 içimd\u0259 itirm\u0259k qorxusu var.<\/p>\n

– Ç\u0259tin günl\u0259rinizd\u0259 hans\u0131 güc siz\u0259 yenid\u0259n ayaqda durma\u011fa imkan yaratd\u0131?<\/strong>
\n– Atam. Hadis\u0259 olanda Qubaya getmi\u015fdik, dedil\u0259r ki, üçü d\u0259 sa\u011fd\u0131r. Fikirl\u0259\u015fdim ki, 6 n\u0259f\u0259r idil\u0259r, nec\u0259 üçü sa\u011fd\u0131r? Dü\u015fündüm ki, y\u0259qin, dig\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 heç n\u0259 olmay\u0131b, ona gör\u0259 deyirl\u0259r ki, üçü d\u0259 sa\u011fd\u0131r. Sonra m\u0259lum oldu ki, ail\u0259 üzvl\u0259rimd\u0259n üç n\u0259f\u0259r yerind\u0259 keçinib, anam, bac\u0131m, bac\u0131m\u0131n q\u0131z\u0131 is\u0259 x\u0259staxanada a\u011f\u0131r v\u0259ziyy\u0259td\u0259dir. Onlar\u0131 da itirdim. Bel\u0259c\u0259, m\u0259n bir günd\u0259 6 n\u0259f\u0259ri d\u0259fn el\u0259dim. A\u011f\u0131r günl\u0259rin ixtiyar\u0131nda m\u0259n v\u0259 atam qald\u0131q. Özüm\u0259 dedim ki, atama gör\u0259 ayaqda durmal\u0131yam. Heç unutmaram, atam\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutdu\u011fum günü. Yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b, dedim ki, o\u011flumun ad\u0131n\u0131 \u0130lkin qoyacam, soyad\u0131n\u0131 is\u0259 Dada\u015fov. Qoy, s\u0259nin soyad\u0131n\u0131 yenid\u0259n da\u015f\u0131yan bir o\u011ful olsun.<\/p>\n

– H\u0259rd\u0259n gücsüzlüyün n\u0259 dem\u0259k oldu\u011funu hiss edirsiniz v\u0259 bu n\u0259 zaman olur?<\/strong>
\n\"\"– M\u0259n gücsüz\u0259m, sad\u0259c\u0259 k\u0259nardan m\u0259ni güclü görürl\u0259r. \u018fslind\u0259 m\u0259n güclü deyil\u0259m, m\u0259n m\u0259cburam güclü olma\u011fa. H\u0259yat m\u0259ni m\u0259cbur edir ki, güclü olum. Y\u0259ni, m\u0259nim ba\u015fqa ç\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolum, ba\u015fqa bir variant\u0131m var?(susur v\u0259 a\u011flay\u0131r<\/em>)<\/p>\n

– Özünüz\u0259 n\u0259yi heç vaxt ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamars\u0131n\u0131z?<\/strong>
\n– Bilmir\u0259m, n\u0259yi ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaram. H\u0259yatda yaln\u0131\u015flar\u0131m, s\u0259hvl\u0259rim olub, lakin demir\u0259m ki, onlar\u0131 özüm\u0259 ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamaram. El\u0259 bir \u015fey yoxdur. H\u0259min an üçün ola bil\u0259r, dey\u0259m ki, yaln\u0131\u015f etdim, amma sonra dü\u015fünür\u0259m ki, h\u0259r bir yaln\u0131\u015f\u0131n da s\u0259b\u0259bi var, heç n\u0259 el\u0259 bel\u0259 deyil. Yaln\u0131\u015f add\u0131m at\u0131rsansa, kim\u0259s\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131 yaln\u0131\u015f n\u0259s\u0259 edirs\u0259ns\u0259, inan\u0131n ki, s\u0259b\u0259bi olur. S\u0259b\u0259bsiz heç n\u0259 yoxdur. B\u0259z\u0259n özünd\u0259n qaçmaq, b\u0259z\u0259n unutmaq üçün bunu edirs\u0259n. Amma kim\u0259s\u0259 pislik etm\u0259k üçün yaln\u0131\u015f add\u0131m atmaram.<\/p>\n

– Olubmu, hans\u0131sa bir ç\u0259tin duruma dü\u015fmüsünüz v\u0259 h\u0259min anda anan\u0131z\u0131n ruhu sizi xilas edib?<\/strong>
\n– Bir-iki d\u0259f\u0259 n\u0259 olub? Bax\u0131n, m\u0259n avtomobil idar\u0259 edir\u0259m. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 bir qad\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131ma nec\u0259 ç\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131sa az qald\u0131 ki, q\u0259za tör\u0259dim, lakin hans\u0131sa bir qüvv\u0259 m\u0259ni xilas el\u0259di. Düzdür, günah m\u0259nim deyildi, laz\u0131m olmayan yerd\u0259n yolu keçirdi, amma bütün hallarda sürücü günahkar olur. O zaman dü\u015fündüm ki, Allah m\u0259ni xilas el\u0259di v\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 d\u0259 bel\u0259 fikirl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f\u0259m. Heç vaxt dem\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m ki, anam\u0131n, yaxud bac\u0131m\u0131n ruhu m\u0259ni qorudu.<\/p>\n

– Özünüz\u0259 n\u0259yi etiraf etm\u0259kd\u0259n qorxursunuz?<\/strong>
\n\"\"– Yoxdur el\u0259 bir \u015fey, yoxdur. H\u0259r \u015feyi çox rahat \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 özüm\u0259 etiraf ed\u0259 bilir\u0259m. Özümü yax\u015f\u0131 tan\u0131y\u0131ram, do\u011frumu da bilir\u0259m, yaln\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131 da. Y\u0259ni ona gör\u0259 etiraf edib qorxaca\u011f\u0131m bir \u015fey yoxdur özüm\u0259.<\/p>\n

– Öt\u0259n ill\u0259r\u0259 geri qaytarmaq olsayd\u0131, Zamir\u0259 xan\u0131m ömrünün hans\u0131 ilin\u0259 qay\u0131dard\u0131?<\/strong>
\n– M\u0259n bir \u015fey deyim, olmayacaq \u015feyl\u0259ri ist\u0259mir\u0259m, arzulam\u0131ram. Heç a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131n ucundan da keçmir ki, ka\u015f filan il\u0259 qay\u0131dard\u0131m. Bir \u015fey ki, mümkün deyil, niy\u0259 arzulay\u0131m? M\u0259n reall\u0131qla ya\u015fay\u0131ram. Amma m\u0259n hal-haz\u0131rda da 2004-cü ild\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fam. O ild\u0259n bu t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 keç\u0259 bilmir\u0259m. Ya\u015fay\u0131ram, geyinir\u0259m, b\u0259z\u0259nir\u0259m, amma bir ac\u0131m, d\u0259rdim var ax\u0131, onu unuda bilmir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

– Bu q\u0259d\u0259r a\u011fr\u0131l\u0131-ac\u0131l\u0131, faci\u0259vi h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131z var. Ola bilm\u0259z ki, xo\u015fb\u0259xt anlar bu h\u0259yat\u0131n içind\u0259 yer almas\u0131n. Onlar\u0131 nec\u0259 xat\u0131rlay\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z?<\/strong>
\n– Xo\u015f m\u0259qamlar bu ac\u0131lar\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda o q\u0259d\u0259r acizdir ki, n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 çarpm\u0131r. Xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik ani bir hissdir, n\u0259y\u0259s\u0259 sevin\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n, bu ötüb keç\u0259r. Amma d\u0259rd, k\u0259d\u0259r el\u0259 bir duy\u011fudur ki, ömrü boyu s\u0259ni mü\u015fayi\u0259t edir. N\u0259 olard\u0131 ki, bu t\u0259rsin\u0259 olard\u0131. \u0130nsan\u0131n ruhu xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmal\u0131d\u0131r, m\u0259nim is\u0259 ruhum xo\u015fb\u0259xt deyil. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 xo\u015f anlar\u0131 xat\u0131rlaya bilmir\u0259m. Ac\u0131lar\u0131m o q\u0259d\u0259r çoxdur ki… Sanki, m\u0259nim çiynim\u0259 bir missiya qoyulub, s\u0259n ham\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259fn etm\u0259lis\u0259n. M\u0259n o insanam ki, bu il bac\u0131m\u0131 da m\u0259zara yola sald\u0131m. Dü\u015fünün, m\u0259n onun sonuncu sistemini öz \u0259ll\u0259riml\u0259 damar\u0131ndan ay\u0131ran insanam.<\/p>\n

– Söhb\u0259timiz\u0259 q\u0259mli notlarla ba\u015flay\u0131b onu xo\u015f cüml\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 bitirm\u0259k ist\u0259s\u0259m d\u0259, al\u0131nmad\u0131. Sizi bundan da art\u0131q üzm\u0259k ist\u0259mir\u0259m. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 müsahib\u0259ni burada yekunla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131ram, h\u0259yat is\u0259 davam edir. Biz is\u0259 davam ed\u0259n bu h\u0259yatda ya\u015famal\u0131y\u0131q ki, sevdikl\u0259rimizin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda öz öhd\u0259likl\u0259rimizi layiqinc\u0259 yerin\u0259 yetir\u0259 bil\u0259k. D\u0259v\u0259timizi q\u0259bul etdiyiniz üçün siz\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259kkürümü bildirir\u0259m.<\/strong><\/p>\n

– M\u0259n d\u0259 siz\u0259, kollektiviniz\u0259 t\u0259\u015f\u0259kkür edir\u0259m.<\/p>\n

Röv\u015f\u0259n Tahir<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Zamir\u0259 xan\u0131m Dada\u015fova: “\u0130tki dey\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131q yad\u0131ma dü\u015für” “M\u0259n gücsüz\u0259m, sad\u0259c\u0259 k\u0259nardan m\u0259ni güclü görürl\u0259r. \u018fslind\u0259 m\u0259n güclü deyil\u0259m, m\u0259n m\u0259cburam güclü olma\u011fa. H\u0259yat m\u0259ni m\u0259cbur edir ki, güclü olum.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":251278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-musahibe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85050","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=85050"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85050\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/251278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=85050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=85050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=85050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}