{"id":74331,"date":"2019-01-30T20:05:53","date_gmt":"2019-01-30T16:05:53","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T20:00:00","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/?p=74331","title":{"rendered":"\u201cAil\u0259 quran \u015f\u0259xsl\u0259r aras\u0131nda normal ya\u015f f\u0259rqi 3-7 ildir\u201d<\/b><\/font>"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u018fhm\u0259d Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flu: “Ail\u0259nin möhk\u0259mliyi üçün \u0259n vacib faktorlardan biri ümumi maraqlar\u0131n olmas\u0131d\u0131r”
\nF\u0259rqan\u0259 Mehmanq\u0131z\u0131: “\u018fg\u0259r insan qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 hörm\u0259t edirs\u0259, ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin  heç bir ön\u0259mi yoxdur”
\nLal\u0259 Mehral\u0131: “\u018fslind\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rd\u0259n birinin ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131n çox olmas\u0131. ail\u0259nin uzunömürlü olmas\u0131na köm\u0259k edir”<\/strong><\/p>\n

“M\u0259n n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r qoca olsam da,
\nD\u0259y\u0259r\u0259m min cavana.
\nÇör\u0259yi yem\u0259r\u0259m m\u0259n yabana,
\nYax\u015f\u0131 dem\u0259r\u0259m m\u0259n yamana.
\nQurban ed\u0259r\u0259m m\u0259n Canana:
\nMal\u0131m\u0131, pulumu, can\u0131m\u0131 m\u0259n”.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bu ifad\u0259ni h\u0259r birimiz xat\u0131rlay\u0131r\u0131q. Bu fikirl\u0259r m\u0259\u015fhur “Ar\u015f\u0131n mal alan” filmind\u0259ndir. Bu filmd\u0259 ata g\u0259nc, göz\u0259l-göyç\u0259k q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 var-dövl\u0259tin\u0259 gör\u0259 ya\u015fl\u0131 bir ki\u015fi il\u0259 – M\u0259\u015f\u0259di \u0130badla evl\u0259ndirm\u0259k ist\u0259yir. \u0130ndiki dövrd\u0259 d\u0259 ail\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131 quran \u015f\u0259xsl\u0259r aras\u0131nda ya\u015f f\u0259rqi müzakir\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olur. B\u0259s ail\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131 quran o\u011flanla q\u0131z aras\u0131nda ya\u015f f\u0259rqi neç\u0259 ya\u015f olmal\u0131d\u0131r? Bu standart bir r\u0259q\u0259mdirmi, yoxsa f\u0259rdi xarakter da\u015f\u0131y\u0131r?<\/p>\n

Mövzu il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 “Üç nöqt\u0259”y\u0259 aç\u0131qlama ver\u0259n sosioloq \u018fhm\u0259d Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flu bildirdi ki<\/strong>, bioloji v\u0259 fizioloji olaraq o\u011flanlarla q\u0131zlar aras\u0131nda f\u0259rql\u0259r var. \"\"Amma g\u0259nclik t\u0259kc\u0259 bioloji amil kimi say\u0131lm\u0131r: “\u0130ndiki vaxtda onun h\u0259m d\u0259 sosial t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259ri d\u0259 var. H\u0259r bir insanda g\u0259nclik dövrü o vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r davam edir ki, o, bir \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259t kimi formala\u015fa bilsin. Misal üçün, adi da\u011f k\u0259ndind\u0259 \u0259m\u0259kl\u0259 m\u0259\u015f\u011ful olan g\u0259ncl\u0259rin formala\u015fmas\u0131 daha tez ba\u015f verir. K\u0259nd yeridir, h\u0259r \u015fey sad\u0259 bir haldad\u0131r. Art\u0131q 20-21 ya\u015f\u0131nda bax\u0131rsan ki, h\u0259min o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 yetkinl\u0259\u015fib, h\u0259yat t\u0259rzini yax\u015f\u0131 bilir, ail\u0259 haqq\u0131nda t\u0259s\u0259vvürl\u0259ri geni\u015fdir. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 mür\u0259kk\u0259b bir mühitd\u0259 böyüy\u0259n o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n 20-21 ya\u015f\u0131 olmas\u0131na baxmayaraq, o, h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 u\u015faq kimi bax\u0131r. Çünki c\u0259miyy\u0259t mür\u0259kk\u0259bdir, h\u0259r \u015feyi tam m\u0259nims\u0259y\u0259 bilmir. Ail\u0259nin n\u0259 dem\u0259k oldu\u011funu tam anlam\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r k\u0259ndd\u0259ki g\u0259nc art\u0131q özün\u0259 bir ev tikib, t\u0259s\u0259rrüfat\u0131n qurubsa, \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259ki g\u0259nc h\u0259l\u0259 bu sah\u0259d\u0259 ilk add\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131 at\u0131r. Gördüyünüz kimi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 mühitd\u0259n as\u0131l\u0131 olaraq insan\u0131n \u015f\u0259xsiyy\u0259t kimi formala\u015fmas\u0131nda prosesl\u0259r tamamil\u0259 f\u0259rqli gedir. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 bunu konkret olaraq ya\u015f h\u0259ddin\u0259 ay\u0131rmaq düzgün deyil, buna f\u0259rdi yana\u015fmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r”.<\/p>\n

\u018f.Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flunun sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259, \u0259sas meyar ilk növb\u0259d\u0259 ail\u0259 institutunun mahiyy\u0259tinin d\u0259rk edilm\u0259sidir. \u0130ndiki dövrd\u0259 ail\u0259 dey\u0259nd\u0259 n\u0259l\u0259ri v\u0259 hans\u0131 münasib\u0259tl\u0259rin n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tutuldu\u011fu mü\u0259yy\u0259n olunmal\u0131d\u0131r: “Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 çal\u0131\u015fmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r ki, ail\u0259 qurulark\u0259n h\u0259m q\u0131z\u0131n,  h\u0259m d\u0259 o\u011flan\u0131n ail\u0259 haqq\u0131nda t\u0259s\u0259vvürl\u0259ri formala\u015fm\u0131\u015f olsun. \u0130ndiki c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259, Bak\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259rind\u0259 ya\u015fayan o\u011flanlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n ail\u0259 haqq\u0131nda t\u0259s\u0259vvürl\u0259rinin formala\u015fmas\u0131 \u0259sas\u0259n 30 ya\u015fdan yuxar\u0131d\u0131r. Q\u0131zlar\u0131n  bu t\u0259s\u0259vvürl\u0259ri mü\u0259yy\u0259n q\u0259d\u0259r erk\u0259n ba\u015f verir. Çünki q\u0131zlar ail\u0259d\u0259 çox olurlar, qohumda görürl\u0259r, ail\u0259 il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 misallar\u0131 e\u015fidirl\u0259r. T\u0259kc\u0259 fizioloji v\u0259 bioloji c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n deyil, eyni zamanda sosial mühit d\u0259 buna t\u0259sir edir. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259, b\u0259z\u0259n eyni ya\u015fl\u0131 o\u011flanla q\u0131z evl\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259 sonra çoxlu probleml\u0259r ortaya ç\u0131x\u0131r. Düzdür, burda istisna hallar da çoxdur. Özünd\u0259n kiçik olan o\u011flanla da ail\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131 quran q\u0131z xo\u015fb\u0259xt ola bil\u0259r. Bunlar istisnalard\u0131r”.<\/p>\n

Sosioloq bildirir ki, orta statistik normalara gör\u0259, o\u011flanlarda qan\u0131n t\u0259z\u0259l\u0259nm\u0259si 4 ild\u0259n bir, q\u0131zlar\u0131nk\u0131 is\u0259 3 ild\u0259n bir ba\u015f verir: “Bu müqayis\u0259 il\u0259 davam ets\u0259k, o\u011flanlarda 4×7=28 q\u0131zlarda is\u0259 3×7=21 olur. Y\u0259ni arada 7 ya\u015fa q\u0259d\u0259r f\u0259rq normal say\u0131l\u0131r. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 hesab edir\u0259m ki, ail\u0259 qurduqda o\u011flanla q\u0131z aras\u0131ndak\u0131 ya\u015f f\u0259rqi 3-7 ya\u015f aral\u0131\u011f\u0131 say\u0131la bil\u0259r. Onlar\u0131n xarakterind\u0259ki yax\u0131nl\u0131q da eyni olmal\u0131d\u0131r. Çox böyük f\u0259rq olanda ortaya bir s\u0131ra probleml\u0259r ç\u0131x\u0131r. Daha ya\u015fl\u0131 o\u011flanlar\u0131n h\u0259yat haqq\u0131nda dü\u015fünc\u0259l\u0259ri f\u0259rqli olur. Ail\u0259nin möhk\u0259mliyi üçün \u0259n vacib faktorlardan biri ümumi maraqlar\u0131n olmas\u0131d\u0131r. Ya\u015f f\u0259rqi çox olanda ümumi maraqlar az olur”.<\/p>\n

Psixoloq F\u0259rqan\u0259 Mehmanq\u0131z\u0131 bu sah\u0259d\u0259 apard\u0131\u011f\u0131 mü\u015fahid\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 \u0259sas\u0259n bildirir ki<\/strong>, ya\u015f f\u0259rqi o\u011flan-q\u0131z münasib\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259 böyük rola malikdir. \"\"Psixoloq bildirir ki, h\u0259r bir ya\u015f\u0131n h\u0259yata bax\u0131\u015f t\u0259rzi, mü\u0259yy\u0259n bir enerjisi, “d\u0259liliyi” var. \u0130nsan o ya\u015f\u0131 keçdikd\u0259n sonra, h\u0259min ya\u015fda olan insan\u0131 anlaya bilir: “Misal üçün, ki\u015fi ya\u015fca böyük olduqda, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131n\u0131n ç\u0131l\u011f\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, h\u0259yata bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 anlayacaq. Burda yen\u0259 bir amma var. Çox adam deyir ki, ki\u015finin ya\u015f\u0131 qad\u0131na nisb\u0259t\u0259n çox olduqda, ki\u015fi ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fam\u0131\u015f olur, h\u0259yatdan sönür. Qad\u0131n\u0131n is\u0259 ya\u015famaq h\u0259v\u0259si olur, daha \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259li h\u0259yat ist\u0259yir. Bel\u0259 olan halda h\u0259min ki\u015fi qad\u0131n\u0131 anlam\u0131r v\u0259 aralar\u0131nda konflikt yaran\u0131r. Bu, \u0259slind\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131l\u0131ql\u0131 hörm\u0259t\u0259 v\u0259 insan xarakterin\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r evl\u0259n\u0259nl\u0259r aras\u0131nda ya\u015f f\u0259rqi varsa, bu qad\u0131n\u0131n ki\u015fiy\u0259 hörm\u0259tin\u0259 g\u0259tirib ç\u0131xar\u0131rsa, dü\u015fünürs\u0259 ki, m\u0259nd\u0259n daha a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131d\u0131r, h\u0259yata bax\u0131\u015f\u0131 daha yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r, m\u0259nd\u0259n çox bilir-ail\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015f f\u0259rqi problem olmaz,. Ki\u015fi d\u0259 dü\u015fün\u0259r ki, m\u0259n d\u0259 cavan vaxt\u0131 bel\u0259 dü\u015fünürdüm, bel\u0259 olmu\u015fam v\u0259 s.<\/p>\n

H\u0259r bir ya\u015f\u0131n özünün xarakteri var, bunu n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 almaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. 20 ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u0259ncl\u0259 30 ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u0259ncin dünya görü\u015fünd\u0259 f\u0259rql\u0259r var. F.Mehmanq\u0131z\u0131 qeyd edir ki, qad\u0131n\u0131n ki\u015fid\u0259n böyük olmas\u0131 m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sin\u0259 müxt\u0259lif bax\u0131\u015flar var. Psixoloq dü\u015fünür ki, \u0259slind\u0259 qad\u0131n\u0131n ki\u015fid\u0259n böyük olmas\u0131n\u0131n heç bir \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259ti yoxdur: “\u018fsas olan xarakterinin uy\u011funlu\u011fu v\u0259 bir-biril\u0259rinin yan\u0131nda ruhi rahatl\u0131q tapmalar\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r insan\u0131n xarakterind\u0259 problem yoxdursa, ya\u015f f\u0259rqi böyük probleml\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259tirib ç\u0131xarm\u0131r. Statistika onu göst\u0259rir ki, \u0259n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ya\u015f f\u0259rqi üç ya\u015f olmal\u0131d\u0131r. \u018fg\u0259r insan qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 hörm\u0259t edirs\u0259, ruhu onun ruhunu ox\u015fay\u0131rsa, ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin  heç bir ön\u0259mi yoxdur”.<\/p>\n

Jurnalist-sosioloq Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131 is\u0259 bildirir ki<\/strong>, bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ümumilikd\u0259 müzakir\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131 olan bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259dir v\u0259 uzun müdd\u0259tdir ki, müzakir\u0259 olunur:\"\" “O\u011flanla q\u0131z aras\u0131nda \u0259n az\u0131 3-4 ya\u015f f\u0259rqin olmas\u0131, hadis\u0259l\u0259r bax\u0131\u015f buca\u011f\u0131n\u0131n f\u0259rqli olmas\u0131 bax\u0131m\u0131ndan çox f\u0259rq edir. Qad\u0131n\u0131n, yaxud ki\u015finin ya\u015fca böyük olmas\u0131 \u015f\u0259rt deyil. Fikrimc\u0259, \u0259g\u0259r insanlar\u0131n sözl\u0259ri bir-birin\u0259 uy\u011fun g\u0259lirs\u0259, “bu insanla ya\u015flana bil\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m”- dey\u0259 dü\u015fünürs\u0259, ya\u015f f\u0259rqi çox \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259t k\u0259sb etmir. Burda söhb\u0259t çox ya\u015fdan deyil, maksimum 10 ya\u015fa q\u0259d\u0259r olan f\u0259rqd\u0259n söhb\u0259t gedir”.
\nL.Mehral\u0131 bildirir ki, \u0259slind\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rd\u0259n birinin ya\u015f\u0131n\u0131n çox olmas\u0131 h\u0259min ail\u0259nin uzunömürlü olmas\u0131na köm\u0259k edir: “Çünki h\u0259r iki t\u0259r\u0259fin ya\u015f\u0131 eyni olarsa, onlar\u0131n bax\u0131\u015f bucaqlar\u0131 da, h\u0259yatda qazand\u0131qlar\u0131, gördükl\u0259ri t\u0259crüb\u0259 d\u0259 eyni nisb\u0259td\u0259dir. \u018fg\u0259r ki\u015fi qad\u0131ndan bir q\u0259d\u0259r böyükdürs\u0259, onun t\u0259crüb\u0259si daha çoxdur, hadis\u0259l\u0259ri analiz etm\u0259 qabiliyy\u0259ti, h\u0259yat t\u0259crüb\u0259si nisb\u0259t\u0259n çox oldu\u011funa gör\u0259 önc\u0259d\u0259n sabah\u0131 gör\u0259 bilir. Ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin ail\u0259nin daha möhk\u0259m v\u0259 uzunömürlü olmas\u0131na t\u0259siri var. Misal üçün, bu gün h\u0259r hans\u0131 bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259ll yolu olaraq bir \u015feyi dü\u015fünür\u0259ms\u0259, yolda\u015f\u0131m m\u0259nd\u0259n 5-6 ya\u015f böyükdürs\u0259, o bunun daha f\u0259rqli h\u0259ll yollar\u0131n\u0131 görür. M\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t edir ki, daha orijinal v\u0259 s\u0259rf\u0259li h\u0259ll yolu budur. Sabah\u0131 gün görür\u0259m ki, onun dediyi h\u0259ll yolu h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259 daha s\u0259rf\u0259lidir. Çünki o m\u0259nd\u0259n daha t\u0259crüb\u0259lidir. M\u0259nim bu gün gördükl\u0259rimi o art\u0131q dün\u0259n görmü\u015f olur. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 evlilikl\u0259rd\u0259 ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin olmas\u0131 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tlidir. Amma b\u0259z\u0259n bu ya\u015f f\u0259rqi  çox olur, öz h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131ndan 20-25 ya\u015f böyük olan ki\u015fil\u0259r, yaxud qad\u0131nlar var. M\u0259n\u0259 gör\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r ya\u015f f\u0259rqi normal deyil. Art\u0131q onlar f\u0259rqli n\u0259sill\u0259rin nümay\u0259nd\u0259l\u0259ridirl\u0259r. Onlar\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 dövr, gördüyü mühit olduqca f\u0259rql\u0259nir. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259, bu f\u0259rq ail\u0259d\u0259 mü\u0259yy\u0259n naraz\u0131l\u0131qlar\u0131n yaranmas\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259v ola, müxt\u0259lif probleml\u0259rin yaranmas\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b ola  bil\u0259r. Çünki al\u0131\u015fqanl\u0131qlardan \u0259l ç\u0259km\u0259k o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 asan m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 deyil. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, g\u0259nc olan daha ç\u0131l\u011f\u0131n, daha \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259li, daha dinamik olursa, ya\u015fl\u0131 olan nisb\u0259t\u0259n daha hüzurlu, sakit h\u0259yat arzulay\u0131r. Bu da ail\u0259d\u0259 uy\u011funsuzluq yarad\u0131r. Bu bax\u0131mdan çox ya\u015f f\u0259rql\u0259rin\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 ehtiyac yoxdur”.<\/p>\n

Könül Oruc<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u018fhm\u0259d Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flu: “Ail\u0259nin möhk\u0259mliyi üçün \u0259n vacib faktorlardan biri ümumi maraqlar\u0131n olmas\u0131d\u0131r” F\u0259rqan\u0259 Mehmanq\u0131z\u0131: “\u018fg\u0259r insan qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259f\u0259 hörm\u0259t edirs\u0259, ya\u015f f\u0259rqinin  heç bir ön\u0259mi yoxdur” Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131: “\u018fslind\u0259 t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259rd\u0259n…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":251278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-74331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cemiyyet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74331","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=74331"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74331\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/251278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=74331"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=74331"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=74331"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}