{"id":70237,"date":"2018-10-26T22:35:32","date_gmt":"2018-10-26T18:35:32","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T20:00:00","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/?p=70237","title":{"rendered":"\u201cA\u011fl\u0131, savad\u0131 olan valideyn he\u00e7 vaxt \u00f6vladlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda ayr\u0131-se\u00e7kilik salmaz\u201d <\/b><\/font>"},"content":{"rendered":"

Aydan N\u0259z\u0259rova: “Övladlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 do\u011fru-düzgün \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 yeti\u015fdirm\u0259li, onlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda heç bir f\u0259rq qoymamal\u0131y\u0131q”<\/em>
\n\u018fhm\u0259d Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flu: “Fikrimc\u0259, 55 faiz o\u011flan, 45 faiz q\u0131z do\u011fulsa burda qorxulu bir \u015fey yoxdur, normal hald\u0131r”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

XXI \u0259srd\u0259 ya\u015fama\u011f\u0131m\u0131za baxmayaraq bu gün d\u0259 o\u011flan övlad\u0131n\u0131 q\u0131z övlad\u0131ndan daha üstün tutanlar var. Bir çox valideynl\u0259r, baba-n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259r q\u0131z v\u0259 o\u011flan övladlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda ayr\u0131-seçkilik ed\u0259r\u0259k o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131na üstünlük verir v\u0259 onu n\u0259slin davamç\u0131s\u0131 hesab edirl\u0259r. Bu da g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kd\u0259 q\u0131z övladlar\u0131n\u0131n diqq\u0259t v\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131dan k\u0259narda qalmas\u0131na, o\u011flan övladlar\u0131n\u0131n is\u0259 daha \u0259rköyün böyüm\u0259sin\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olur. Maraql\u0131d\u0131r, insanlarda bu dü\u015fünc\u0259 t\u0259rzi haradan v\u0259 n\u0259d\u0259n qaynaqlan\u0131r? Ümumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, övladlar aras\u0131nda f\u0259rq qoymaq onlar\u0131n psixologiyas\u0131na n\u0259 kimi t\u0259sir göst\u0259rir?<\/p>\n

“Nar\u0131nc” U\u015faq Psixologiya M\u0259rk\u0259zinin 9-cu mkr. filial\u0131n\u0131n icraç\u0131 direktoru, psixoloq Aydan N\u0259z\u0259rova deyir ki, valideynl\u0259r daha çox o\u011flan övladlar\u0131n\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259yir: “\u0130nsanlar aras\u0131nda bel\u0259 bir dü\u015fünc\u0259 t\u0259rzi var ki, o\u011flan övlad\u0131 n\u0259slin davamç\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r. Y\u0259ni “O\u011flan övlad\u0131m\u0131z olsa n\u0259slimiz davam ed\u0259c\u0259k, q\u0131z övlad\u0131m\u0131z olsa var-dövl\u0259timiz ba\u015fqa o\u011flana qalacaq, n\u0259slimiz davam etm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k, tük\u0259c\u0259n\u0259k” kimi fikirl\u0259r var. Buna gör\u0259 d\u0259 b\u0259zi ail\u0259l\u0259r daha çox o\u011flan u\u015faqlar\u0131na meyll\u0259nirl\u0259r. Amma m\u0259nim fikrimc\u0259, ata-anaya qalan daha çox q\u0131z övladlar\u0131 olur. Çünki valideynl\u0259rinin ba\u015f\u0131na bir i\u015f g\u0259l\u0259n kimi q\u0131z övlad\u0131 daha tez qaç\u0131b özünü çatd\u0131r\u0131r ”.<\/p>\n

Psixoloqun sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259 \u0259slind\u0259 övladlar aras\u0131nda heç bir f\u0259rq qoyulmamal\u0131d\u0131r, çünki h\u0259r övlad\u0131n özün\u0259m\u0259xsus öz\u0259lliyi, xüsusiyy\u0259tl\u0259ri var: “El\u0259 o\u011flan u\u015faqlar\u0131 var ki, onun \u0259v\u0259zind\u0259 5 q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olsa daha yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. Y\u0259ni u\u011fursuz, xeyirsiz o\u011flan övlad\u0131ndansa, xeyirli q\u0131z övlad\u0131 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tlidir. Ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 Allah\u0131n verdiyi payla kifay\u0259tl\u0259nm\u0259k laz\u0131md\u0131r. Y\u0259ni Allaha üsyan etm\u0259y\u0259 haqq\u0131m\u0131z yoxdur. O, nec\u0259 m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259t bilirs\u0259, el\u0259 d\u0259 ed\u0259c\u0259k”.<\/p>\n

A.N\u0259z\u0259rova deyir ki, b\u0259zi ail\u0259l\u0259r q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dünyaya g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 0 q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 sevinmirl\u0259r: “Dü\u015fünürl\u0259r ki, \u0259\u015fi q\u0131zd\u0131r da, ç\u0131x\u0131b ba\u015fqas\u0131n\u0131n evin\u0259 ged\u0259c\u0259k. B\u0259zi hallarda t\u0259hsil almalar\u0131na bel\u0259 imkan vermirl\u0259r. “\u018fr\u0259 ver\u0259c\u0259yik, ged\u0259c\u0259k” dü\u015fünc\u0259 t\u0259rzind\u0259 olduqlar\u0131 üçün onlar\u0131n bir pe\u015f\u0259, s\u0259n\u0259t sahibi olmalar\u0131na maraq göst\u0259rmirl\u0259r. N\u0259tic\u0259 etibaril\u0259 q\u0131z u\u015faqlar\u0131 ail\u0259d\u0259 travma alma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131rlar, qay\u011f\u0131-sevgi görmürl\u0259r. Amma mütl\u0259q \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 övlada t\u0259hsil imkan\u0131 yarad\u0131lmal\u0131, onun pe\u015f\u0259y\u0259 sahib olmas\u0131na valideyn yard\u0131m etm\u0259lidir. Lakin haz\u0131rda el\u0259 ail\u0259l\u0259r var ki, q\u0131z övladlar\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funa gör\u0259, heyfisl\u0259nmir, öz paylar\u0131na \u015fükür edirl\u0259r”.<\/p>\n

Psixoloqun sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259 imkan\u0131 yüks\u0259k olan ail\u0259l\u0259r daha çox o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ist\u0259yirl\u0259r: “Çünki onlar n\u0259slin davam etm\u0259sini ist\u0259yirl\u0259r. Yaxud el\u0259 qaynanalar var, deyir ki, o\u011flum t\u0259k u\u015faqd\u0131r, ist\u0259yir\u0259m onun o\u011flu olsun, ona arxa olsun v\u0259 s. bu kimi dü\u015fünc\u0259l\u0259r o\u011flan övlad\u0131n\u0131n daha çox olmas\u0131n\u0131n üstünlük t\u0259\u015fkil etm\u0259sin\u0259 g\u0259tirib ç\u0131xar\u0131r”. <\/p>\n

A.N\u0259z\u0259rovan\u0131n sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259, çox zaman ail\u0259l\u0259r “O\u011flum olsun, o\u011flum olsun” deyirl\u0259r: “O\u011ful övladlar\u0131 dünyaya g\u0259ldikd\u0259n sonra u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 o q\u0259d\u0259r \u0259zizl\u0259yir, \u0259rk\u0259söyün böyüdürl\u0259r ki, 18 ya\u015f\u0131na çatanda valideynl\u0259rin\u0259 \u0259l qald\u0131rma\u011fa, b\u0131çaq qald\u0131rma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131r. Çünki o vaxta q\u0259d\u0259r h\u0259r dediyini edirl\u0259r, n\u0259 ist\u0259yir verirl\u0259r, barma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 n\u0259y\u0259 qoysa valideynl\u0259ri onun üçün al\u0131rlar. Bundan sonra da u\u015faq h\u0259r \u015feyin “H\u0259” olaca\u011f\u0131na öyr\u0259\u015fir v\u0259 bird\u0259n “Yox” sözünü e\u015fitdikd\u0259 is\u0259 t\u0259rs reaksiya verir. Bu da xo\u015fag\u0259lm\u0259z n\u0259tic\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259tirib ç\u0131xar\u0131r. Ax\u0131 onlar qada\u011faya öyr\u0259\u015fm\u0259yibl\u0259r, “b\u0259h-b\u0259h”l\u0259 böyüdülübl\u0259r. Bel\u0259 olmaz. Mütl\u0259q \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 övladlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 do\u011fru-düzgün \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 yeti\u015fdirm\u0259li, onlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda heç bir f\u0259rq qoymamal\u0131y\u0131q”.<\/p>\n

Sosioloq \u018fhm\u0259d Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flu bildirdi ki, q\u0259dimd\u0259n olan ad\u0259t-\u0259n\u0259n\u0259y\u0259 gör\u0259, h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131na üstünlük verilib: “Bel\u0259 ki evd\u0259 o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dünyaya g\u0259l\u0259n kimi gözayd\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131 verirdil\u0259r, t\u0259brik edirdil\u0259r. Bu q\u0259dim na\u011f\u0131llarda da, ad\u0259t-\u0259n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 d\u0259 öz \u0259ksini tap\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259tta buna aid atalar sözl\u0259rimiz d\u0259 var, “Yeddi o\u011ful ist\u0259r\u0259m, birc\u0259 d\u0259n\u0259 q\u0131z g\u0259lin”, “Q\u0131z yükü, duz yükü” v\u0259. Bütün bunlar onu göst\u0259rir ki, q\u0131zlara münasib\u0259t \u0259n\u0259n\u0259vi olaraq soyuq olub. Bu da onunla ba\u011fl\u0131 olub ki, bir vaxtlar müharib\u0259l\u0259r olurdu, ki\u015fil\u0259r ev\u0259 daha çox g\u0259lir g\u0259tirirdi, q\u0131z u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131n o vaxtk\u0131 hüquqlar\u0131 daha az idi, evd\u0259 qalanda yük olurdu. Bu \u0259n\u0259n\u0259vi olaraq davam edirdi. \u0130ndiki zamanda is\u0259 \u0259lav\u0259 komponentl\u0259r daxil oldu, m\u0259n haz\u0131rda bununla ba\u011fl\u0131 ara\u015fd\u0131rmalar apar\u0131ram. Valideynl\u0259r söhb\u0259t \u0259snas\u0131nda deyirl\u0259r ki, indiki mühit çox pisdir. \u018fxlaqi v\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259vi c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 çoxlu xo\u015fag\u0259lm\u0259z prosesl\u0259r gedir. Buna gör\u0259 d\u0259, q\u0131z u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259mirl\u0259r. Get-ged\u0259 d\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n ail\u0259d\u0259 say\u0131 azal\u0131r. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r ail\u0259d\u0259 \u0259n az\u0131 5-6 u\u015faq olurdu, bu zaman fikir vermirdil\u0259r. \u0130ndi \u0259n çoxu 2-3 u\u015faq olur, ona gör\u0259 d\u0259 çal\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar ki, o\u011flana üstünlük versinl\u0259r”.<\/p>\n

Sosioloq deyir ki, Ultras\u0259s müayin\u0259sinin meydana ç\u0131xmas\u0131 bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 çox böyük rol oynad\u0131: “Bel\u0259 ki, hamil\u0259lik vaxt\u0131 yoxlanaraq q\u0131z v\u0259 o\u011flan övlad\u0131 oldu\u011funu öyr\u0259nib, q\u0131z övlad\u0131n\u0131 b\u0259tnd\u0259nk\u0259nar, y\u0259ni abort edirl\u0259r”.
\nSosioloq deyir ki, b\u0259zi deputatlar, jurnalistl\u0259r s\u0259s-küy sal\u0131rlar ki, bu demoqrafik c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n çox pis hald\u0131r, birazdan o\u011flanlar\u0131m\u0131z evl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0131z tapmayacaqlar: “Bu yanl\u0131\u015f yana\u015fmad\u0131r. Burda daha çox qorxulu olan m\u0259n\u0259vi t\u0259r\u0259fdir. Çünki ata-ana öz övlad\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259tl etm\u0259k üçün q\u0259rar q\u0259bul edir. Öz u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259tl etm\u0259k insanlar\u0131n q\u0259lbind\u0259 g\u0259rginlik yarad\u0131r v\u0259 bu c\u0259miyy\u0259t\u0259 yans\u0131y\u0131r. Lakin demoqrafik c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n problem yaratm\u0131r. Çünki o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n çox do\u011fulmas\u0131 \u0259slind\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 hald\u0131r. Çünki bizim ölk\u0259 kimi bir yerd\u0259 o\u011flan u\u015faqlar\u0131n\u0131n b\u0259zil\u0259ri böyüdükd\u0259 ölk\u0259ni t\u0259rk edir, yaxud müharib\u0259d\u0259, q\u0259zada v\u0259 s. v\u0259ziyy\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259 dünyas\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259yi\u015fir. V\u0259 20 ya\u015f\u0131na çatd\u0131qda o\u011flanlar il\u0259 q\u0131zlar\u0131n say\u0131 dem\u0259k olar ki, b\u0259rab\u0259rl\u0259\u015fir. Fikrimc\u0259, 55 faiz o\u011flan, 45 faiz q\u0131z do\u011fulsa burda qorxulu bir \u015fey yoxdur, normal bir hald\u0131r. Dediyim kimi burda \u0259sas problem m\u0259n\u0259vi c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259ndir”.<\/p>\n

Ekspertl\u0259rin fikrinc\u0259, u\u015faqlar aras\u0131nda ayr\u0131-seçkiliy\u0259 \u0259sas\u0259n irsi xüsusiyy\u0259tl\u0259r\u0259 qiym\u0259t ver\u0259n ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 rast g\u0259linir. Bel\u0259 ail\u0259l\u0259rin q\u0259rarlar\u0131na \u0259sas\u0259n n\u0259n\u0259, baba, day\u0131, \u0259mi, bibi müdaxil\u0259 edir. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, n\u0259n\u0259, baba deyir ki, o\u011flumun soyad\u0131 yerd\u0259 qalmas\u0131n dey\u0259 o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n\u0131n olmas\u0131 vacibdir. Bel\u0259 ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 dünyaya g\u0259l\u0259n o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 q\u0131z u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 aras\u0131nda f\u0259rq qoyulur. Q\u0131z h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ikinci planda olur. Bu, ail\u0259l\u0259rin psixoloji, sosial c\u0259h\u0259td\u0259n maarifl\u0259ndirilm\u0259m\u0259sind\u0259n ir\u0259li g\u0259lir. Dünyagörü\u015fü, a\u011fl\u0131, savad\u0131 olan valideyn heç vaxt övladlar\u0131 aras\u0131nda ayr\u0131-seçkilik salmaz. Bu, ail\u0259d\u0259 q\u0131sqancl\u0131\u011fa, pax\u0131ll\u0131\u011fa, qarda\u015f-bac\u0131 aras\u0131nda dü\u015fm\u0259nçiliy\u0259 kimi g\u0259tirib ç\u0131xara bil\u0259r.<\/p>\n

Könül Oruc<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aydan N\u0259z\u0259rova: “Övladlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 do\u011fru-düzgün \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 yeti\u015fdirm\u0259li, onlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda heç bir f\u0259rq qoymamal\u0131y\u0131q” \u018fhm\u0259d Q\u0259\u015f\u0259mo\u011flu: “Fikrimc\u0259, 55 faiz o\u011flan, 45 faiz q\u0131z do\u011fulsa burda qorxulu bir \u015fey yoxdur, normal hald\u0131r” XXI…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":251278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-70237","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cemiyyet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70237","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=70237"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70237\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/251278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=70237"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=70237"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=70237"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}