{"id":68228,"date":"2018-09-03T21:55:32","date_gmt":"2018-09-03T17:55:32","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T20:00:00","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/?p=68228","title":{"rendered":"\u201cT\u0259k u\u015faql\u0131l\u0131q son ill\u0259rd\u0259 cavan ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 \u201cmoda\u201d d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb\u201d<\/b><\/font>"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131: “Ail\u0259l\u0259rin “kiçilm\u0259si” problemi bütün Avropa ölk\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 mü\u015fahid\u0259 edilir”
\nKönül Telmanq\u0131z\u0131: “T\u0259k u\u015faql\u0131 ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n özün\u0259qapanma, ünsiyy\u0259t problemi olur”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Valideyn Aynur Quliyeva deyir ki, 6 ildir evli olsalar da bir u\u015faqlar\u0131 var. Çünki \u0259vv\u0259lki dövrün \u015f\u0259rtl\u0259ri il\u0259 indiki dövrün \u015f\u0259rtl\u0259r eyni deyil: “Birinci u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dünyaya g\u0259tirdikd\u0259n sonra x\u0259rcl\u0259rimiz çox art\u0131b. K\u0259nardan baxana asan g\u0259lir, x\u0131rda x\u0259rcl\u0259r kimi görünür. Amma u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n x\u0259rcl\u0259ri böyüyünkünd\u0259n daha çox olur. Adi ma\u011fazalara yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b u\u015faq paltarlar\u0131n\u0131n qiym\u0259tini soru\u015fduqda bunun \u015fahidi ola bil\u0259rsiniz. Keçmi\u015f dövrd\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq u\u015faqlar tez-tez h\u0259kim müayin\u0259sin\u0259 apar\u0131l\u0131r. Bundan \u0259lav\u0259 onun yem\u0259yi v\u0259 dig\u0259r x\u0259rcl\u0259ri var. Bütün bunlar\u0131 üst-üst\u0259 g\u0259ldikd\u0259 indiki dövrd\u0259 u\u015faq böyütm\u0259k heç d\u0259 asan deyil. Ona gör\u0259  d\u0259 bir u\u015faqla kifay\u0259tl\u0259nmi\u015fik, övlad\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n art\u0131q 4 ya\u015f\u0131 var. \u0130kinci u\u015faq haqq\u0131nda is\u0259 dü\u015fünmürük. Yolda\u015f\u0131m da, m\u0259n d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259s\u0259k d\u0259 x\u0259rcl\u0259ri çox ç\u0259tinlikl\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131r\u0131q. \u018fg\u0259r növb\u0259ti dövrl\u0259rd\u0259 x\u0259rcl\u0259rimiz azalarsa ikinci u\u015faq bar\u0259sind\u0259 dü\u015fün\u0259 bil\u0259rik. Lakin indiki v\u0259ziyy\u0259t üçün bu qeyri-mümkündür. Çox u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ç\u0259tin \u015f\u0259raitd\u0259 böyütm\u0259kd\u0259ns\u0259, birini daha yax\u015f\u0131 \u015f\u0259rtl\u0259r alt\u0131nda böyütm\u0259yin t\u0259r\u0259fdar\u0131y\u0131q”- bu xan\u0131m kimi dü\u015fün\u0259n valideynl\u0259rin say\u0131 çoxdur. V\u0259 bunun n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 d\u0259 “kiçik ail\u0259l\u0259r” çoxal\u0131r.<\/p>\n

Mövzu il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 “Üç nöqt\u0259”y\u0259 aç\u0131qlama ver\u0259n jurnalist-sosioloq Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131 bildirdi ki, ail\u0259l\u0259rin t\u0259k u\u015faq problemi bar\u0259d\u0259 çox yox, c\u0259mi 10 il qabaq dan\u0131\u015fan olsayd\u0131, çoxumuza gülm\u0259li görün\u0259rdi: “Çünki \u0259ks\u0259riyy\u0259timiz \u0259n az 3 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olan ail\u0259d\u0259 böyümü\u015fük. Aram\u0131zda 9-10 u\u015faql\u0131 ail\u0259nin övlad\u0131 olanlar da çoxdur. \u0130ll\u0259r v\u0259 zaman d\u0259yi\u015fdiyi kimi ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 çoxövladl\u0131l\u0131q m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sin\u0259 münasib\u0259t d\u0259 d\u0259yi\u015fdi. \u0130ndi 3 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olan ail\u0259y\u0259 “q\u0259hr\u0259man ail\u0259” kimi bax\u0131rlar, 3-cü övlad\u0131n\u0131 do\u011fan qad\u0131na möcüz\u0259 görmü\u015f kimi zill\u0259n\u0259n bax\u0131\u015flar, 3-4 övlad\u0131 il\u0259 parka g\u0259zintiy\u0259 ç\u0131xan ataya dikil\u0259n t\u0259\u0259ccüb dolu gözl\u0259r göst\u0259rir ki, müasir ail\u0259 modelind\u0259 \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 halda 2 u\u015fa\u011fa yer verilir”. <\/p>\n

L.Mehral\u0131n\u0131n sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259, t\u0259k övlad\u0131 olan ail\u0259l\u0259ri \u0259b\u0259s yer\u0259 “c\u0131rtdan ail\u0259” adland\u0131rm\u0131rlar. Bu problem son 2-3 ilin \u0259n ciddi sosail probleml\u0259rind\u0259n biri hesab edilir: “Bu ail\u0259l\u0259r ad\u0259t\u0259n bir t\u0259k o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 kifay\u0259tl\u0259nir, Avropa ölk\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 bu bir q\u0131z övlad\u0131 il\u0259 d\u0259 \u0259v\u0259zl\u0259n\u0259 bilir. Müs\u0259lman toplumlar\u0131nda q\u0131z övlad n\u0259sil davamç\u0131s\u0131 hesab edilm\u0259diyind\u0259n mütl\u0259q o\u011flan övlada sahib olmaq ist\u0259y\u0259n valideynl\u0259r könüllü olmasa da, “kiçik ail\u0259” modelini böyütm\u0259y\u0259  q\u0259rar verirl\u0259r. Y\u0259ni, q\u0131zdan sonra hökm\u0259n o\u011flan u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ist\u0259yirl\u0259r. Lakin bu h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bel\u0259 olmur. B\u0259z\u0259n ail\u0259l\u0259r abortun t\u0259hlük\u0259li oldu\u011funu n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259 almadan USM-d\u0259 q\u0131z övlad\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funu gördükd\u0259n sonra aborta \u0259l at\u0131rlar. M\u0259qs\u0259d sad\u0259dir: “Bir u\u015faq olsun, o\u011flan olsun, n\u0259sil davam etsin”. <\/p>\n

Dig\u0259r bir m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 münasib\u0259t bildir\u0259n sosioloq deyir ki, t\u0259k u\u015faqlar\u0131n ail\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259ddind\u0259n art\u0131q qorunmas\u0131, h\u0259r add\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n izl\u0259nm\u0259si, valideynl\u0259rin daim “iyn\u0259 üst\u0259 oturmas\u0131”na s\u0259b\u0259b olur: “Bu cür ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 böyüy\u0259n u\u015faqlar özünü heç vaxt m\u0259n\u0259vi azad hiss ed\u0259 bilmir. Buna gör\u0259 d\u0259 c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 bu cür ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 böyüy\u0259n u\u015faqlar\u0131 “ana u\u015fa\u011f\u0131” kimi xarakteriz\u0259 edirl\u0259r. Ail\u0259d\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n t\u0259k olmas\u0131 onun \u0259rköyün böyüm\u0259sin\u0259, h\u0259r ist\u0259diyini \u0259ld\u0259 etm\u0259sin\u0259 s\u0259b\u0259b olur. O özünü kiçik ail\u0259nin böyük hökmlüsü kimi hiss edir, valideynl\u0259ri t\u0259k u\u015faqla kifay\u0259tl\u0259ndikl\u0259ri üçün onun h\u0259r ist\u0259diyini yerin\u0259 yetir\u0259r\u0259k “kiçik ail\u0259”ni “problemli ail\u0259” edir”.<\/p>\n

Jurnalist-sosioloq hesab edir ki  bu problem son d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 aktual v\u0259 müzakir\u0259 edilm\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131 olan bir mövzudur: “Bu genefond, n\u0259sil, \u015f\u0259c\u0259r\u0259 v\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259sidir.  Ail\u0259l\u0259rin “ç\u0131rtdanla\u015fmas\u0131” problemi bütün Avropa ölk\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 mü\u015fahid\u0259 edilir, bu dünyada mü\u015fahid\u0259 edil\u0259n problemdir. Amma bildirim ki, h\u0259l\u0259 ki, bu proses kütl\u0259vi \u015f\u0259kil almay\u0131b. Biz haz\u0131rda ail\u0259l\u0259rimizd\u0259 ad\u0259t\u0259n 2 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n oldu\u011funu mü\u015fahid\u0259 edirik. Düzdür, iki u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n özü d\u0259 problemli olur, bir-biri il\u0259 yola getmirl\u0259r, t\u0259k u\u015faqlar is\u0259 çox eqoist olurlar, evd\u0259 ona uy\u011fun mühit olmur, \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 halda dostlar\u0131 n\u0259n\u0259-baba olur, amma m\u0259n çoxu\u015faql\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n t\u0259r\u0259fdar\u0131yam. \u018fg\u0259r maddi imkan\u0131m izin vers\u0259ydi, g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rini t\u0259min ed\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yimd\u0259n \u0259min  olsayd\u0131m 4 u\u015faq anas\u0131 olmaq ist\u0259rdim. T\u0259\u0259ssüf ki iki u\u015faqla kifay\u0259tl\u0259nm\u0259li olmu\u015fuq. M\u0259n 4 u\u015faql\u0131 ail\u0259d\u0259 böyümü\u015f\u0259m, u\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m o q\u0259d\u0259r qaynar, h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259tli keçib ki… T\u0259\u0259ssüf ki indi çox u\u015faq anas\u0131 olma\u011fa c\u0259sar\u0259t göst\u0259r\u0259 bilmirik”.<\/p>\n

Psixoloq Könül Telmanq\u0131z\u0131 is\u0259 deyir ki, bu s\u0131rf qurulan ail\u0259nin ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 q\u0259rarla, onlar\u0131n psixologiyas\u0131 il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r: “B\u0259zi valideynl\u0259r bu m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259y\u0259 f\u0259rqli dü\u015fünc\u0259l\u0259r il\u0259 yana\u015f\u0131rlar- bir u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m olsun, onu h\u0259r \u015feyl\u0259 t\u0259min ed\u0259 bilim. U\u015fa\u011f\u0131n dünya görü\u015fünü, t\u0259minat\u0131n\u0131, onun g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259diyi kimi t\u0259min etm\u0259k üçün bir u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 seçirl\u0259r. H\u0259m d\u0259 b\u0259zi insanlar var ki, i\u015fl\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 problem ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 üçün ikinci u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259mirl\u0259r. Valideynl\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 m\u0259i\u015f\u0259t probleml\u0259rind\u0259n dolay\u0131 ikinci u\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ist\u0259mirl\u0259r”. <\/p>\n

Psixoloqun sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259, t\u0259k u\u015faql\u0131l\u0131q \u0259sas\u0259n son ill\u0259rd\u0259 cavan ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 “moda” dü\u015füb. O, bunu normal q\u0259bul etm\u0259diyini deyir: “Çünki t\u0259k u\u015faql\u0131 ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n özün\u0259qapanma, ünsiyy\u0259t problemi olur. M\u0259nim yan\u0131ma bel\u0259 u\u015faqlar da g\u0259lir. “M\u0259n niy\u0259 t\u0259k\u0259m, m\u0259n bac\u0131, qarda\u015f ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Bac\u0131m, qarda\u015f\u0131m olsayd\u0131 onlarlarla oynayard\u0131m, ham\u0131da var, m\u0259nd\u0259 yoxdur”- kimi fikirl\u0259r s\u0259sl\u0259ndirirl\u0259r. Bu da olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 halda özün\u0259qapanma hallar\u0131 yaran\u0131r. \u018ftrafdak\u0131 u\u015faqlarla ünsiyy\u0259t q\u0131tl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ba\u015flay\u0131r, onlarla ünsiyy\u0259t\u0259 girm\u0259k ist\u0259mir. Eqosentrizmi yüks\u0259k olur, bu da onun t\u0259kliyind\u0259n ir\u0259li g\u0259lir. Amma bir çox valideynl\u0259r bunu anlam\u0131rlar”.<\/p>\n

Könül Oruc<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131: “Ail\u0259l\u0259rin “kiçilm\u0259si” problemi bütün Avropa ölk\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 mü\u015fahid\u0259 edilir” Könül Telmanq\u0131z\u0131: “T\u0259k u\u015faql\u0131 ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 u\u015faqlar\u0131n özün\u0259qapanma, ünsiyy\u0259t problemi olur” Valideyn Aynur Quliyeva deyir ki, 6 ildir evli olsalar da…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":251278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[101],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-68228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cemiyyet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=68228"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68228\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/251278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=68228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=68228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=68228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}