{"id":65545,"date":"2018-06-14T18:32:21","date_gmt":"2018-06-14T14:32:21","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"-0001-11-30T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"-0001-11-29T20:00:00","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/?p=65545","title":{"rendered":"\u201cG\u0259ncl\u0259r artan bo\u015fanma hallar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcb evl\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259n qorxurlar\u201d<\/b><\/font>"},"content":{"rendered":"

Röv\u015f\u0259n Hümb\u0259tov: “Evlilikd\u0259n sonra e\u015fq-m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t 3-4 il \u0259rzind\u0259 mövcud olur sonra is\u0259 yava\u015f-yava\u015f azalma\u011fa do\u011fru gedir”
\nLal\u0259 Mehral\u0131: “Yüks\u0259k bo\u015fanma statistikas\u0131 biz\u0259 çoxdan x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q edirdi ki, evlilikl\u0259rin say\u0131nda da azalma mü\u015fahid\u0259 edil\u0259c\u0259k” <\/strong><\/p>\n

1995-2012-ci ill\u0259rd\u0259 Az\u0259rbaycanda orta hesabla h\u0259r 8-9 nikaha 1 bo\u015fanma dü\u015füb. R\u0259smi statistikaya gör\u0259, 2013-cü ild\u0259n ba\u015flayaraq bir t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n nikahlar\u0131n say\u0131 azalma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131b, o biri t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n is\u0259 bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n say\u0131 sür\u0259tl\u0259 art\u0131b v\u0259 art\u0131q 2017-ci ild\u0259 orta hesabla 4 nikaha 1 bo\u015fanma dü\u015füb. 2012-2017-ci ill\u0259rd\u0259 nikahlar 20% azal\u0131b, bo\u015fanmalar is\u0259 31% art\u0131b. Maraql\u0131d\u0131r, bu r\u0259q\u0259ml\u0259r niy\u0259 bu q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259yi\u015fir? Bunun kökünd\u0259 hans\u0131 probleml\u0259r durur? Problemin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 almaq üçün hans\u0131 t\u0259dbirl\u0259rin görülm\u0259sin\u0259 ehtiyac var?<\/p>\n

Mövzu il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 “Üç nöqt\u0259”y\u0259 aç\u0131qlama ver\u0259n psixoloq Röv\u015f\u0259n Hümb\u0259tov bildirdi ki, h\u0259r bir insan\u0131n arzusu normal ail\u0259 qurub, h\u0259yat\u0131n\u0131 xo\u015fb\u0259xt \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 davam etdirm\u0259kd\u0259n ibar\u0259tdir: “Ancaq son ill\u0259rd\u0259 bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n say\u0131n\u0131n artmas\u0131 b\u0259zi suallar ortaya ç\u0131xar\u0131r. S\u0259b\u0259b n\u0259dir? \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r bo\u015fanmada ail\u0259 daxili münaqi\u015f\u0259l\u0259r \u0259sas rol oynay\u0131rd\u0131sa da, indi is\u0259 sad\u0259c\u0259 evlilik yor\u011funlu\u011fu, ail\u0259 yükünü da\u015f\u0131ya bilm\u0259m\u0259k v\u0259 s. kimi faktorlar ail\u0259l\u0259rin da\u011f\u0131lmas\u0131nda \u0259sas rol oynama\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131b. Ara\u015fd\u0131rmalara gör\u0259, evlilikd\u0259n sonra e\u015fq-m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t 3-4 il \u0259rzind\u0259 mövcud olur, sonra is\u0259 yava\u015f-yava\u015f azalma\u011fa do\u011fru gedir. Bu müdd\u0259td\u0259n sonra cütlükl\u0259r aras\u0131ndak\u0131 münasib\u0259t sevgiy\u0259, dostlu\u011fa, yolda\u015fl\u0131\u011fa çevrilirs\u0259, ail\u0259 münasib\u0259ti davaml\u0131 olur, yox bunu etm\u0259k mümkün olmursa, o zaman bo\u015fanma qaç\u0131lmaz olur. Bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n haz\u0131rda kökünd\u0259 duran \u0259n vacib s\u0259b\u0259bl\u0259rd\u0259n biri ail\u0259 quran cütlükl\u0259r aras\u0131nda m\u0259d\u0259ni uyu\u015fman\u0131n a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 olmas\u0131d\u0131r. Ail\u0259 quranlardan biri varl\u0131, dig\u0259ri kas\u0131b, biri g\u0259nc, dig\u0259ri ya\u015fl\u0131 ola bil\u0259r. Bu cütlükl\u0259r aras\u0131nda ad\u0259t\u0259n o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 problem yaratm\u0131r. Ancaq m\u0259d\u0259ni dü\u015fünc\u0259 f\u0259rqliliyinin olmas\u0131, ail\u0259 daxili probleml\u0259rin yaranmas\u0131na s\u0259b\u0259b olur. Bunun da \u0259n vacib göst\u0259ricisi kimi t\u0259hsil v\u0259 dünya görü\u015fl\u0259ri aras\u0131ndak\u0131 f\u0259rql\u0259ri göst\u0259r\u0259 bil\u0259rik. Y\u0259ni iki insan\u0131n t\u0259hsil v\u0259 dünya görü\u015fl\u0259ri aras\u0131ndak\u0131 f\u0259rql\u0259r n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r böyükdürs\u0259, h\u0259min ail\u0259l\u0259rin da\u011f\u0131lma ehtimal\u0131 bir o q\u0259d\u0259r çox olur. Buna gör\u0259 d\u0259 partnyor seçimind\u0259 v\u0259 ail\u0259 qurduqda qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259 münasib\u0259tl\u0259rd\u0259 m\u0259d\u0259ni dü\u015fünc\u0259 uy\u011funlu\u011funa çox diqq\u0259tl\u0259 yana\u015fmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. Bu gün bo\u015fanmalar\u0131n yüks\u0259k olmas\u0131 da ail\u0259 qurdu\u011fumuz zaman h\u0259min bu f\u0259rql\u0259r\u0259 diqq\u0259t etm\u0259m\u0259yimizl\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259dard\u0131r”.<\/p>\n

R. Hümb\u0259tovun sözl\u0259rin\u0259 gör\u0259, problemin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n al\u0131nmas\u0131nda \u0259n vacib m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 ail\u0259 qurark\u0259n intellektual dü\u015fünc\u0259 s\u0259viyy\u0259si eyni v\u0259 ya ox\u015far olan insanlar aras\u0131nda seçimin edilm\u0259sidir: “Çünki m\u0259d\u0259ni, intellektual, dü\u015fünc\u0259 uy\u011funlu\u011fu olan insanlar birlikd\u0259 oturub dan\u0131\u015fa bilir, probleml\u0259ri müzakir\u0259 etm\u0259yi bacar\u0131rlar. Ara\u015fd\u0131rmalar sübut edib ki, evlilikl\u0259r ad\u0259t\u0259n ilk 6 ild\u0259 daha çox sonlan\u0131rlar v\u0259 ilk 6 ili keçirdikd\u0259n sonra bo\u015fanma faizl\u0259ri a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 dü\u015für. Növb\u0259ti krizis vaxtlar\u0131 is\u0259 20 ild\u0259n sonra yaranma\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131r v\u0259 20 il keç\u0259nd\u0259n sonra yenid\u0259n g\u0259rginlik perioudu ba\u015flaya bilir. Bütün bunlar\u0131n da \u0259sas s\u0259b\u0259bi evlilik yor\u011funlu\u011funun ortaya ç\u0131xmas\u0131d\u0131r. Bu yor\u011funluq s\u0259hvin\u0259 dü\u015fm\u0259m\u0259k üçün ilk önc\u0259 evlilikd\u0259 empatiya qurulmal\u0131d\u0131r. Özünü partnyorunun yerin\u0259 qoyaraq, hadis\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 onun gözünd\u0259n baxmaq v\u0259 onun keçirdiyi hissl\u0259ri anlamaq evlilikd\u0259 olan riskl\u0259ri azald\u0131r”.<\/p>\n

Psixoloq deyir ki, bunlardan ba\u015fqa tez-tez qohum, qon\u015fu, dost ail\u0259 ziyar\u0259tl\u0259ri evliliyin dinamikas\u0131na müsb\u0259t t\u0259sir göst\u0259rir: “Çünki bu partnyorlar aras\u0131nda ünsiyy\u0259ti yax\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131raraq, ortaq payla\u015f\u0131lan d\u0259y\u0259rl\u0259ri art\u0131r\u0131r v\u0259 evliliyi monotonla\u015fma\u011fa qoymur. Probleml\u0259rin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131nmas\u0131nda dig\u0259r bir ön\u0259mli m\u0259qam t\u0259nqidl\u0259rd\u0259 v\u0259 mübahis\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259nil\u0259n sözl\u0259rin çox ehtiyatla seçilm\u0259sidir. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, ev da\u011f\u0131n\u0131q olanda bu evin v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti çox pisdir, pintis\u0259n dem\u0259k \u0259v\u0259zin\u0259, evin da\u011f\u0131n\u0131q olmas\u0131 m\u0259ni narahat edir kimi daha az q\u0131c\u0131qland\u0131r\u0131c\u0131 sözl\u0259rd\u0259n istifad\u0259 etm\u0259k daha m\u0259qs\u0259d\u0259 uy\u011fundur. Bel\u0259 olan halda qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259f müdafi\u0259y\u0259 keçm\u0259k yerin\u0259, m\u0259suliyy\u0259t hissl\u0259rini art\u0131rmaq bar\u0259d\u0259 dü\u015fün\u0259c\u0259kdir”.<\/p>\n

R. Hümb\u0259tov \u0259lav\u0259 etdi ki, evliliyinizin uzun ömürlü olmas\u0131 üçün \u0259linizd\u0259kil\u0259rin d\u0259y\u0259rini bilin, çünki bir çox insan \u0259lind\u0259kinin d\u0259y\u0259rini onu itirdikd\u0259n sonra bilir: “Xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmaq üçün araya heç bir h\u0259d\u0259f qoymay\u0131n, y\u0259ni u\u015fa\u011f\u0131m\u0131z olsun v\u0259 ya evimiz olsun daha xo\u015fb\u0259xt olaca\u011f\u0131q kimi fikirl\u0259rd\u0259n uzaq olun. Yadda saxlay\u0131n ki, evlilik bir h\u0259d\u0259f deyil, s\u0259yah\u0259tdir v\u0259 onun h\u0259r an\u0131ndan zövq almaq g\u0259r\u0259kdir”. <\/p>\n

“Sa\u011flam C\u0259miyy\u0259t” \u0130ctimai Birliyinin s\u0259dri, jurnalist-sosioloq Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131 bildirdi ki, t\u0259hlük\u0259li r\u0259q\u0259ml\u0259rdir, h\u0259tta h\u0259d\u0259l\u0259yici dem\u0259k daha do\u011fru olar: “Bu q\u0259d\u0259r yüks\u0259k bo\u015fanma statistikas\u0131 biz\u0259 çoxdan x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q edirdi ki, evlilikl\u0259rin say\u0131nda da azalma mü\u015fahid\u0259 edil\u0259c\u0259k. Çünki c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 ba\u015f ver\u0259n h\u0259r \u015fey bir-biri il\u0259 s\u0131x \u0259laq\u0259d\u0259dir, bir v\u0259ziyy\u0259tin sonu dig\u0259rinin ba\u015flan\u011f\u0131c\u0131, v\u0259 ya \u0259ksin\u0259dir. Evl\u0259n\u0259n h\u0259r 10 ail\u0259d\u0259n \u0259n az 4-5-nin bo\u015fand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 gör\u0259n subay\u0131n evl\u0259nm\u0259k üçün h\u0259v\u0259si, ist\u0259yi v\u0259 ya mara\u011f\u0131 qalm\u0131r. Ail\u0259 qurmaq üçün \u0259n vacib \u015f\u0259rt olan güv\u0259n, etibar itir, g\u0259ncl\u0259r bir-birin\u0259 inanm\u0131r, ham\u0131 bir-birinin qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n umaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131n oldu\u011funu dü\u015fünür. Bax\u0131n, t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259r evl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0259rar verir, toy haz\u0131rl\u0131qlar\u0131na ba\u015flan\u0131l\u0131r, bundan sonra probleml\u0259r bulaq kimi qaynay\u0131r. Kims\u0259 bir-birin\u0259 güz\u0259\u015ft\u0259 getm\u0259k ist\u0259mir, al\u0131nacaq \u0259\u015fyalar\u0131n, q\u0131z\u0131l-zin\u0259tin \u0259n bahal\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259l\u0259b ed\u0259n q\u0131z da qalib olur, qaynana da ist\u0259diyi cehizi g\u0259tirtdirir. Bütün bunlar\u0131n fonunda t\u0259r\u0259fl\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259vi böhran keçirdikl\u0259rinin f\u0259rqind\u0259 olmurlar. Bel\u0259c\u0259 ail\u0259 qurulur, bundan sonra h\u0259r \u015fey bir-bir gün üzün\u0259 ç\u0131x\u0131r – borclar, xasiyy\u0259tl\u0259r, çat\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlar v\u0259 s. Bütün bunlardan sonra ail\u0259d\u0259 etibar, inam, güv\u0259n qalm\u0131r v\u0259 ail\u0259 olmaqdan ç\u0131x\u0131rlar. Bu halda bo\u015fanmaqdan ba\u015fqa çar\u0259 qalm\u0131r. M\u0259\u015fhur atalar sözünd\u0259 deyildiyi kimi, gözü ç\u0131xan qarda\u015fdan d\u0259rs almaq laz\u0131md\u0131r. G\u0259ncl\u0259r d\u0259 \u0259traflar\u0131ndak\u0131 bo\u015fanma hallar\u0131n\u0131 görüb evl\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259n qorxurlar. Çünki evl\u0259ndikd\u0259n sonra onlar\u0131 n\u0259yin gözl\u0259diyini t\u0259xmin ed\u0259 bilmirl\u0259r – ya xo\u015fb\u0259xtlik, ya b\u0259db\u0259xtlik – heç birin\u0259 \u0259min deyill\u0259r”.<\/p>\n

Könül \u018fhm\u0259dova<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Röv\u015f\u0259n Hümb\u0259tov: “Evlilikd\u0259n sonra e\u015fq-m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t 3-4 il \u0259rzind\u0259 mövcud olur sonra is\u0259 yava\u015f-yava\u015f azalma\u011fa do\u011fru gedir” Lal\u0259 Mehral\u0131: “Yüks\u0259k bo\u015fanma statistikas\u0131 biz\u0259 çoxdan x\u0259b\u0259rdarl\u0131q edirdi ki, evlilikl\u0259rin say\u0131nda da azalma…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":251278,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[94],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-65545","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-musahibe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65545","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=65545"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65545\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/251278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=65545"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=65545"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ucnoqta.az\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=65545"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}